The Year of 30

Yes, its the number that most people fear, and are petrified of, and yet it doesn't seem to go away. No matter how hard we try to avoid it, ignore it or just not pay attention; it eventually creeps behind us and finds us, as such is the way of life. The year of 30;when you hit puberty again, when your skin starts breaking out even though you thought you were past that phase, and when you notice your first grey and scream your lungs out!! Wait now; thats how people used to describe it a long time back. Today 30 is the new 20 and honestly there is nothing scary about it. There is so much more to do and the world is still your oyster, (if you choose to ignore the constant ranting of marriage proposals from your family and the society). 

When I look at my life right now, WOW!! it seems like 30 years have just gone by so fast, and I still sometimes (that time of the month when the hormones are high and I'm super sensitive), do not know what I am doing with it right now. But all the other times I feel great. Actually I feel 30, DIRTY AND FLIRTY!! We all feel like we have been through so much, seen so much, and survived so much that age becomes just a number and nothing more. But more specifically for women once they hit 30, its like everybody's eyes start noticing you. "what are your future plans?", when are you getting married?, you should get married, otherwise it will be difficult to have babies. I mean come on world, don't you think we think about these things too? and even if we don't why do you have to think of all these things for us? It ain't any of your goddamn business. I'm sorry if I sound rude...think again, actually i'm not sorry. Yes its not any of your business what we do with our life when we hit 30 and  we do not think we need to share our plans with all of you. You know the sad part is, the society specially the nepali society never celebrates any success of women as much as they celebrate the women getting married. I mean come on, you might win a big award, become a big CEO, get a huge scholarship, but still at the end of the day, people don't celebrate that, and they just ask you "bihe kaile garney? bela bhaena?"

It makes me think "Bela bhayo ki bhaena, malai bhanda besi mero samaj lai taha cha". What is it with nepali society and the statement that it is time you get married? I will get married at my own sweet time(THANK YOU VERY MUCH) and that is whenever I am ready, regardless of my age. I'm not saying I'm against marriage, I would like to get married one day, but the constant pressure the society puts on me, makes me want to not get married. And out of all the people, your friends(who you think should be your support system) can talk nothing except for how marriage is important and that you should get married soon. I mean come on!! you are my friends for god sakes, not my lecturers or not my granny!!

From traveling abroad, to moving out of the house, to facing a horrible breakup(breakups before were easier), to living in a different city where you don't know anyone or even the language, life has been one hell of a rollercoaster ride for me. And I'm actually glad that all through this, I had my family and my closest of friends who were always there. My support system, who thinks that even in my darkness, there is still some shine left. They are the ones who don't pressurize me to do things just coz its the way of the society. And trust me this has gotten me through my darkest of times. 

Truth be told, its not like I am a radical feminist who is against the idea of marriage or anything, although sometimes  I might come off as so. But there was a time when I was absolutely, madly in love with someone and all I wanted to do was get married and start a family. Too bad that din't work out; mainly coz the guy was a complete douchebag and an asshole who couldn't handle strong independent women. He did get married recently!! and I congratulated him(and guess what he took his wife to the honeymoon destination we had planned). I mean seriously? How pathetic can you be?  I have moved on completely and now I'm like lets just bygones be bygones. I forgive you for the pain you have caused me, and I will forget because you do not deserve any more energy and time of mine.  I now see that I was making a horrible mistake by keep going back to this guy, and I don't know why? I had lost my mind it seems. And boy oh boy, but I did dodge a huge fat ass of a bullet. I mean come on, we all deserve nothing but the best, and settling for something less than what you deserve only makes your life miserable. We all have our mistakes and our past, but the most important thing is that you pick yourself up, you take one step at a time and come back stronger. And we all have had our heartbreaks, our sad sob stories, times when we hit rock bottom, but they tell us about what we survived and make us better everyday. 

And so this is to all those who still believe in love even after having your heart broken many times, love only shines when there is no negativity, no jealousy and no insecurities. Be with the person who really makes you feel you, go past the materialistic checklists that you have in your mind, and just trust your gut. If it tells you something is wrong, don't keep quiet, don't let toxicity of a relationship make you bitter. Coz trust me, there is more to life than to be living in bitterness and the dark. Just because you are in a relationship doesn't mean you owe them, or they owe you, it doesn't even mean that it might last forever or you might get married. But as long as you are with that person, give it your ultimate best, the kind of best that they know they will never get from someone else rather than you. And for all the women, it is time we start changing how the society looks at us, or perceives us. Marriage might or might not happen, but that shouldn't dull your shine!! After all life is too short for mediocre things. Make it bling, make it shine and make it big :) Love and Peace 

Looking into the True Mirror: when I discovered my truest form

It has been a really long time I haven’t written anything so I am trying my best to get back at it. I can’t say how my writing has become in the past few years, but I do love writing. So first in order is “Happy Dashain" to everybody. I hope everybody is enjoying the celebrations and just the fact that Kathmandu has become cleaner and less crowded(I hoped it lasted). But this festival which basically is celebrated to mark the victory of good over evil got me thinking about the continuous battle we are within ourselves. Trying to have our best and good and suppressing the evil. But isn’t life about accepting your good and evil and making them work, to bring out the best in you?

What is it you see when you look at yourself in the mirror? Do you see the person looking back at you merely as an image, a reflection of who you are or do you see the real/true you?? I was watching this Ted talk video on the art of being yourself where Caroline McHugh talks about the difference between the regular mirror and the true mirror, one in which you find reassurance about yourself and the other you find true revelation and discover yourself. The whole video talks about how you can be yourself, the truest form of who you are and the path of self-discovery. I think this video got me thinking about my truest form. However this blog is not going to be about the video and I am not going to talk about what is in the video. Who am I and who am I striving to be? It is a question we rarely ask ourselves when we get trapped in the regular, normal everyday life, trying to make it through the day, working our way in the hopes of getting success of making sense about the meaning and purpose of our life. We always are told by society to be and act a certain way and in this whole process of being someone, trying to fill in the prescribed roles of how we should be as citizens, as people we forget who we truly are. We are told to behave in a particular manner with different people, in different situations and we start adding on layers of complex personalities that even when people meet us, it is very difficult for them to figure us out. And of course we as humans tend to judge others, watch others and the moves they make and jump into conclusions about each other. And why is it that we are afraid of showing who we truly are? What makes us behave in that way, that tells us not to show our real side? These are the questions that I always ask myself. Why is it that we are scared??

It has been a really long time I haven’t written anything for my blog and I wanted to get back to writing. And as I have previously mentioned, you don't write until and unless something clicks for you. And these moments may come and go, but it solely depends on you; whether you write about it or do anything about it or not. For me, writing has been a way to vent out my feelings, all kinds of feelings and expressing myself. I write when I’m happy, sad, depressed(yes I can be depressed at times too), frustrated, stressed and all of the feelings that exist in the world. 

And as of now, I feel all the feelings that do exist, all at once and ever so deeply. I think it could be partly because I just turned 30(mind you 30 is the new 20), and I’m finally moving away from home(after years of my dad wanting me to move out) but it really has got me thinking about how I want my life to proceed from this point on. And the first step I thought is about discovering myself. I have always been a wanderer by heart, I love to travel and to wander. I believe my soul is that of a free bird and that flying too high is never too bad. And every time I travel, I discover more and more about myself. Whether it be how self-destructive I am or how much I like making people happy and trust me I can be both!! When you hit 30, for a woman, more specifically i talk for myself, I looked back at my life and i just thought about how far I have come. I looked at my past, the mistakes i made, the heartbreaks i faced(there were one too many) and the moments of sheer joy and success. I looked at myself in the truest form and believe me there are memories of myself that I absolutely loathed. The naiveness in me, the stubbornness, the annoyingness, the depression, the sadness, the stupidity, the bitchiness you name it; I confess to being all of those things. I accept the worse side of me and I think this acceptance of how destructive and dangerous I could be to myself helped me become a stronger person. And I strongly believe, if we are capable of coming in terms with the negativity within ourselves, we can really work through it and come out stronger than ever. And  it is a very challenging and difficult task, not all people can do it instantly and some people need help with it, but nevertheless it is not impossible. 

The second thing is when you discover yourself, your negatives and positives and you know yourself inside out, you become more comfortable with who you are and you do not and I emphasise on this specifically YOU DO NOT have to compromise into being someone else other than yourself, or be afraid of showing your truest form. If people cannot accept and handle the true you, I believe they do not deserve the greatness within you. This I realised after finally coming out of a really lengthy, bad relationship where i had to continuously validate my love and faithfulness to my partner and he would keep judging me and dumping me again and again just for the fact that I had a past (well doesn’t everybody??) and he could not accept it. I know, it sounds horrible, but what was more scary was I was trapped into this vicious cycle of breaking up and making up and was blinded by the idea of being in love with this person. And I am an independent, strong, rational woman!! Believe me, I did not expect myself to put up with it and yet it did happen, as it does to any other strong person and it is very normal for this to happen. Trust me even if it does feel like the end of the world, it isn’t. It is just that the person who you thought would love you and cherish you for your truest form isn't worthy of being a part of your life. AND I do not blame him, everybody is their own person, having their own reasons. Maybe it wasn’t meant to be, maybe I was too naive but after this toxic relationship ended, I was devastated. Devastated to realise that all of this had come to an end. And trust me, all the people who have felt heartaches know what it feels like. This sudden death feeling where your heart feels like it is being pierced with a drilling machine, where you lose all your senses and stop living a normal life. Everybody has experienced it. The anxiety, the insomnia, the diet loss, everybody has seen it happen to themselves and to the people around them. But when you come out of all of this craziness that takes over you, although it can be a very struggling path, but when you do, you come out stronger, indestructible and happier. You discover your weakness and the methods to handle your weakness. You realise what rejection feels like and how you can handle with it. You become your own person, one who does not want to compromise or settle for anything that is lesser than your worth. You realise your worth and the love people have for you. 

And thirdly, probably the last thing I would mention is all of the things I have talked about here are normal, daily things that everybody has talked about. There are blogs everyday that millions of people write on self-discovery, meaning of life, handling stress and everything under the sun. And I might not have anything new to say, or anything that hasn’t been said already but this is just an effort of expressing, sharing and maybe when I get your feedbacks(if I get any) for myself to learn more. What I have realised in my so called little lifetime that I have experienced, is even when you are being true to people, they do not believe you, they think that you are faking it, or probably would end up making fun of you or insulting you. And I would tell all of those people experiencing these things, that they do not have the power over you. The power of how people make you feel is within yourself. It is your choice how you react to what people say or do to you, or how you feel. I would suggest, never stop being yourself, being original. Feel everything deeply, live life fearlessly, love endlessly(no matter how many times you have been broken) and most importantly do not live in fear seeking for peoples acceptance, because honestly the people who really do value you, do not care and the people who do not value or accept you are simply not worth anything in your life. Keep looking into the true mirror, keep challenging yourself and rediscovering yourself(as change is inevitable and you keep evolving every now and then) be in touch with your innermost spirit and let it run wild. Being wild is the only good thing as you know, only greatness can handle the wild within you and the ones who cannot, are simply not worth losing your sleep for. And if people or the society does talk about you and says things about you, look at them directly and just smile. There is nothing much more toxic that could destroy or build a person than a smile. I hope to get back to writing regularly, maybe more about the things I have experienced and about my travelling and I hope this fire that has recently been reignited never runs out of fuel!! If you are reading this right now, whatever it is that you are going through, I know you have the power of getting over it and trust me, when you do, all of the other things that might not be in the right places in your lives would not matter to you. What would matter, would be being your truest self and the person you have discovered within you. I looked into the true mirror and found myself and this is how I am going to be with everybody, if you like it all the better for me and if you don’t, honestly darling do you think I care? Peace, Love and Light to all my beautiful people all around the world.

The age of the Old

Hi my beautiful people,

I haven't updated my blog for quite some time, work is keeping me busy: My apologies!!! this has been a good year so far, half of the year has passed so quick and it has given me so many good things!! For starters, I got a new job:yayyy!! currently I'm working at CWIN-Nepal which focuses on the issues of street children. New projects, new opportunities have definitely kept me real busy and there's more of that busy-ness to come!!

Today i'd like to write about the current scenario of the aging people in Nepal. How many of you have ever visited an old-age home? seen the people living there..in the condition they are in? to tell you honestly, its sad, it pathetic and everytime i visit an old age home, I cry coz I feel what the elderly people go through. Why is it that after all that they have done for their children, they have ended up without any support,love or care from their children? This is something I just can't understand...I hope you feel that too...

In this context, one of my friend Binod Magar and his friend have established an organization Reaping Hope that extensively works for the issues of elderly people. All they need is love and care, we as youths have nothing to lose in that matter, all they ask a little bit of our time, to sit down and make a conversation with them, compassion towards them and unconditional love. I hope I make sense here!!
Well Reaping Hope is a youth-led organization committed to ensure that ageing becomes a positive rewarding experience for all. Ageing gracefully is the way of life we promote. RH helps elderly people claim their rights, challenge discrimination and overcome poverty to make themselves able to lead a dignified, secure, active and healthy life. RH is a team of Youths determined to work to achieve the well being of Elderly People in Nepal and all over the world. Reaping Hope works with the mission to promote and facilitate a process that can assist to protect the rights of the elderly people in general, and specifically take actions to abolish all forms of exploitation and abuse by supporting the disadvantaged elderly. It also works to establish a better social and natural elderly-friendly living environment.With this in mind, Reaping Hope aims to spread the information and raise awareness about the speed of population ageing, elder abuse, neglect and violence against older persons, and more generally, about the experience of being old in our changing world and particularly in Nepal. The following documentary was filmed with the sole purpose of spreading the voice of the elderly here in Nepal. It tries to show the general situation of the elderly and how they are living in oldage homes, what their thoughts are, and what should be done by us individuals to have them treated as equally important part of our society.

Please go through this 10mins of video and also please share it in your blog, facebook pages or any other social media you use. We want the voice of the elderly to be heard by as much people as possible and hope that you will be a part of this as well.

I hope everyone enjoys this video and shares it as well!!! Together we can make a better future and life for the elderly people!! We should not forget that we are where we are because of our older generations!!

xoxo
swassi

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P93f9_k7LNM

stylescrap: INTERNATIONAL GIVEAWAY

stylescrap: INTERNATIONAL GIVEAWAY: Hi readers, I have a giveaway for you presented by OASAP. This is an international giveaway so everyone can participate on it.  These...

Band Baja Baraat!!

Hello Readers,

Sorry for not being able to update the blog recently!! Guess what I've been busy in...Yes its the Wedding Season!! I love summer weddings...minus the heat! its all about bright colors, fun makeup, and a whole lot of dancing!! I had to attend two of my friend's wedding...one from the bride's side and the other from the groom's side..and thats whats been keeping me occupied...

Traditionally they say that the groom's side is much more fun but i beg to differ, this time one of my fren Pragati got married and we had so much fun starting from mehendi, to the ceremony and ending with the reception!! It was crazyyy fun and guess what...I had to wear a saree...my dreaded enemy :P

I don't wear saree much often and I dont have a huge collection of it.. wearing it is fine by my...its the walking in it part that has a problem with me..hehe.. Anyways I wore this beautiful red saree..as red is the color of the wedding, It was a chiffon, jaipuri saree with tiny details and prints in it. My bestie Gayatri completely looked gorgeous and graceful in her peach chiffon saree with flower works in it.. All in all the wedding was such a great experience and I had an awesome time with my dear friends..

Here are some pics for you to enjoy!!!

Lip Smackers!!

Hey Beautiful People,

Yes Summer is so on!! and its getting friggin hot by the day!! I don't know about you guys but i've been staying indoors...my skin can't handle the sun :)

Well my aunt just brought me some make up stuffs from abroad and yes I love make-up (even though im not a pro). I love experimenting with new products, trying out new things, specially eye shadows and lip products.
So she brought me these cool stuff from Revlon which I had been eye-ing for quite some time now. They're called the Lipbalm+Stain Just Bitten Collection. She got me two of those, one in a nice shade of pink called Passion and the other in a darker shade called Forbidden. She also got me a lipstick from the color burst lip butter collection in the shade called Cotton Candy. Here are the pictures of them and swatches on my lips :) Enjoy

Cotton Candy 

Passion

Forbidden

cotton candy

lipbalm+stain 7.98$

Sorry for the bad quality pics..Im planning on upgrading for a better camera soon!!

So the downside of Revlon lip product that I tried was
1. The lipstick turned out to be too sheer although the color looked nice, it wasn't pigmented enough. I had to keep applying layers to get the color that too it barely got there..but it has a nice shine and is like a good lip balm which hydrates the lips.
2. The lip balm+stain also had the same problem. The colors looked nice, but they weren't really pigmented! Although this lasted the whole day :) so that means its a good thing.

But both are fun kinda thing to try on!!Specially for the ladies who like less color and more hydration :) i love the idea of the lipbalm+stain coz it looks like marker pen and is really very easy to apply!!

Hope you guys enjoyed reading this :)
Stay gorgeous, stay beautiful

xoxo
Swazzi <3

Nude Geometrixx!!

 

Hello my beautiful peeps,

Yet again I’m up with another easy-breezy nail-do to brighten up your hands!! This one I call Nude Geometrixxs. The base color is nude. You can chose any shade of nude or bright colors if you like 

1. First apply a generous coat of ur base color. I’ve used one from Avon here.

 2. Then apply your shimmer/shiny polish creating a triangle on the tip of your nails. 

3. Taking a black striper (u can use a toothpick) if you don’t have one and line the tip of the triangle like so
4. Then you take your black nailpolish and create a mini triangle in the big silver triangle.

5. All you have to do now is apply a good layer of your top-coat and leave it to dry!!

Voila!! You have your shiny nail accessory on and your ready to hit the town J

I hope you enjoyed this tutorial… Feel free to give suggestions and feedbacks

Till then stay beautiful

Xoxo